Real Life
by Trivette Lover Heather
Summary: What would the gang think, reading these stories?
1. Hawk,BJ, Father

Real Life By: Trivette Lover Heather ---  
  
"I can't believe this stuff." The black haired man said, taking a break from his reading.  
  
"You can't believe it? In most of these stories you and I fall in love." The man with the mustache replied, looking up from his manuscript.  
  
"It's crazy, I mean there are stories where I die, come back to life, then die again...there was one in particular where I thought you were dead, and lost my mind, pretended like you were still there." He shook his head and laughed slightly.  
  
"I read one earlier where I cut my wrists....its not finished yet, but I sure am interested to see how it turns out."  
  
"I had one where the good Father got killed, I mean there is more sniper fire in these stories then there ever was in real life." He nodded his head up and down.  
  
"Well at least I stay faithful to my wife in most of the stories."  
  
"With a women maybe, I got at least half having you fall for me, Frank, Radar you name it."  
  
He threw his head back in laughter. "Good point...well I've read more than one with you and Margaret having a good ole time."  
  
"Yeah well, who's to say that stuff never happened...?" He smiled then continued. "...and there is this one guy who just writes 100 word stories...they're actually pretty good."  
  
"Yeah I read a bunch of those...we would have had fun with those conversations, had we actually had them." He chuckled a bit.  
  
"Some of these are really quite depressing." Another man broke in, a little late; he couldn't pull himself from his reading. "You and I just died in this story."  
  
The black haired man answered "Let me guess...sniper fire?"  
  
The white haired man chuckled. "I'm afraid so." He lifted the paper back up to his nose.  
  
"These people write about everything, from our childhood to our old and gray days." The man with the mustache commented. "And you're right some of these are very very depressing...you read this one?" He handed it over to the black haired man.  
  
"Hmmm, Back in the World... yeah I got half way through and had to stop, just about broke my heart..." he put his hand through his thinning black hair. "I may just leave her a review worth crying over...anyway I vote we take a break guys. Anyone up for lunch?"  
  
"You Paying Alan?" The white haired man asked smiling.  
  
"Of course not William...It's Mikes turn."  
  
"That's fine with me, but if you two get taken out by sniper fire on the way to car, I'm leaving your butts behind!"  
  
----THE END!  
  
AN: Please let me know if you don't get it. & Please review...it helps me, help you! Take care –TLH ‡ 


	2. Margaret,Frank,Klinger,Radar

Real Life 2 Klinger, Margaret, Radar, Frank  
  
"My gosh, they have me falling for Hawkeye in 99% of these stories...what do they know?" the blonde haired woman huffed.  
  
"Oh come on Loretta, don't act like nothing ever happened." The shorter man grinned. "All of these people got my character down perfect; I was such a sweetheart wasn't I?"  
  
"Of course you were, you were Radar, the farm boy with good manners, and I was the psycho who wore dresses, boy I never lived that one down." The man shrugged, flipping a page.  
  
"Live that down? Try living down the person every one hated. But at least every once in a while there's a story or two which makes me sound human...there was even one I read that's very redemptive!"  
  
"I read one earlier where you shot Hawkeye...bet that's not the redemptive one!" the blonde woman laughed.  
  
"Oh blow it out your rear" He scoffed. "Just kidding darling." He tried to redeem himself.  
  
"Oh quit trying to be redemptive!" She crumbled of a piece of paper and threw it at him.  
  
He flinched slightly, and opened his mouth in response but...  
  
"Ya know what I just realized? I'm not in enough of these. I mean everyone once in a while of course, but I'm hardly ever a main character, what a pity." Jamie said shaking his head.  
  
"I thought you brought a lot to the show, so much humor! You were great. When I read these stories, you may not have huge parts, but you add a great character to them all!" The shorter man added, as he continued on his reading.  
  
"Thanks Gary!" He said nodding his head and picking up another manuscript.  
  
"Bet Mike, Alan and Bill got a big kick out of these; I gotta remind myself to thank them for sending them to us." Gary said with a smile.  
  
"We're gonna have to send them alone to Wayne, Harry and good ole David." The woman said nodding her head.  
  
"I sure bet the writers would have loved some of this stuff." Jamie replied.  
  
"Especially this one here Larry, where Hawkeye and Margaret are getting married and you do everything you can to stop it!" Gary smiled.  
  
"Oh right, like any of this stuff would happen in real life." Larry replied.  
  
"It's fiction Frank!" the blonde woman returned.  
  
"You just called me Frank, Loretta!"  
  
"Woops sorry, got a little caught up in the moment." She shrugged.  
  
"Sheesh, I sure hope these people know that I'm not actually like Frank Burns at all."  
  
"Oh they have to know that Larry, I mean to play a role like you did, you had to be very very talented." Gary came again with another compliment.  
  
"Hey guys, could we hush for al little bit, I'm really getting into this one." Jamie grinned.  
  
"What's it about?" Gary asked.  
  
"I'm not sure exactly yet, but it's called Slash, I think it must be some city in Korea."  
  
--THE END!  
  
AN: I am not a fan of slash, but I added that line in for a little humor. Yeah, I'll continue, one maybe two more. Please let me know what ya thought and even if you'd like to see some more. Thanks and take care –TLH ‡ 


	3. Potter,Trap,Charles

Real Life III Potter, Trapper, Charles  
  
--  
  
"Jumping Jehovah's! Wayne! They have you and Alan getting pretty friendly in this one!" The older man commented, letting out a loud chuckle.  
  
"I know Harry, that's about the 50th one I'm sure. They got you down pretty good, I thought. Always the dad figure, or then again grandfather figure." He smiled.  
  
Suddenly the chuckle stopped and Harry sneered at him playfully.  
  
"I'm out as the horse's patoot of course, but I think people like to use me." David grinned flipping a page.  
  
"Oh of course they do, you were sophisticated, charming with the ladies and always good for the butt of a joke." Wayne came back with another snide remark.  
  
"You watch in Wayne, you are about to get a heck of a lot of paper cuts you keep that up." Harry replied.  
  
"I love this one here, this girl has been trapped in the MASH unit from real life in Australia, and I don't believe I'm in it, but it's a fun story." David smiled.  
  
"Yeah I read that one earlier; I'm interested to see what happens to that little girl." Harry shrugged and continued his reading.  
  
"I sure wish I were in more of these; although they do right a lot about Mclean, sure do miss him." Wayne said grabbing a new stack of papers.  
  
"A good man." Harry said nodding his head, affirming what Wayne had said.  
  
"Never met him heard about him thought." David replied. "But I see he was much loved as you say. They write much of him."  
  
"Gotta admit they loved Alan." Wayne said with a grin. "I gotta call him; he should know how jealous I get when I read about him and BJ getting together." He laughed slightly.  
  
"I wonder who was the better CO, me or Mclean?"  
  
"Neither of us would know, maybe we should go on this site and post that question, see what these fanatics think...the good and the bad of the CO's." Trapper finished as if giving a headline for a newspaper article.  
  
"That's a good idea...I'll have to do that." Harry smiled.  
  
"Ya know most of these stories are really quite good, we should all go on the site and congratulate them on their fine work!" David added.  
  
"Good thinking David, I'll call the others, right now, get their agents to give a statement." Harry replied.  
  
-  
  
From Alan Alda:  
  
To the MASH 4077th Fan Fiction writers,  
In the past day or two I have had the pleasure of reading most if not all of your finely written stories. I find it flattering to find such an interest in this show, even more than a decade after its closing. I found many of them humorous and very entertaining. You have the characters on the shows down very well. I am glad it is a hobby of you fans, and I thank you for keeping the MASH sprit alive. Great job and keep it up!  
-Alan Alda AKA Benjamin Franklin Pierce, "Hawkeye"  
  
To Fan Fiction writers of MASH,  
Wow! You folks do a great job! It is great to see such passion for this show still brewing today. I am proud to say I have read and festered over more than one of the stories which were written. They are very well done. I know the other cast members would agree. They were quite funny, while others were quite dramatic. Signs of great authors. Please continue your work, it is an exciting idea. Take care and keep the passion alive!  
-Mike Farrell AKA BJ. Hunnicutt  
  
To MAASH 4077th, Fan Fiction authors:  
Amazing. Absolutely amazing! Some of these stories are simply magnificent. I found myself shedding a tear in more than one. Coming from the character himself, you have done a great job writing my character. My actions and my words are perfect. I know all of you have your own writing style and I applaud you for that creativity. Please let me congratulate you on some fine pieces of work, long and short. I will spread the word of this site to all I know. They were fun to read, thank you for them. You take care and Keep your gifts thriving!  
-William Christopher AKA Father Mulcahy  
  
To MASH Fan Fiction writers  
When I first heard of such stories, I was a little taken aback and quite afraid actually. But Since I have taken upon reading them, I have found they are done quite well. They are not too obsessive, and you have a genuine interest in the characters. Though I sometimes cant believe what you do the characters, it is always fun to anticipate what will happen next. The sign of a fine writer. I may continue to read these, so please continue on in your talents. I'm sure they are a gift to fans everywhere of this show. Keep up the good work!  
-David Odgen Steirs -Charles Emerson Winchester  
  
To MASH 4077th, Fan Fiction. Net Authors:  
Bravo! My friends. I found so many of these very amusing. They were such a delight to read. I think it's great that you have such a passion to continue your love for the show. This show did so much for people and I'm glad to see it still continuing today. I myself am flattered to have the opportunity to give you writers an outlet for your creativity. Please do continue your writing, it is wonderful. Great work fans!  
-Loretta Swit Margaret Houlihan  
  
To MASH writers:  
Hello there! Larry Linville here. I would just like to say that though my character was not the favorite out of them all, I am pleased with they way you have written his persona in the stories. Though some of you struggle a bit with my words, some of you really excel in it. I would like to take this opportunity to inform you that I am not like Frank Burns at all in real life, and as a fan of this show, I hope it helps you to know that .Keep up the writing and please go easy on Frank, he didn't know what he was doing.  
Thanks for some great reads! I applaud your work! Larry Linville  
  
To MASH 4077th Writers and Fans:  
I am truly amazed at some of these writing. They had me rolling on the floor in laughter one second and contemplating deeply the next. Some of you have truly captured what that show as all about! I give you a standing ovation. This show is legendary and you have taken a part of that legend and kept it sacred for years! And for that I thank you. Please continue writing! You are very talented~ "Do it for the old four O double seven!" Its true spirit was found in the fans! Take care  
- Harry Morgan Colonel Sherman T. Potter  
  
To MASH writers:  
Hey everyone. I appreciate the fandom of fiction you have written on the show. Though I was a little confused at first at some of the story lines, I learned quickly. They are quite hilarious and fun to read. Some of them really got ya thinking and I almost cried twice! I'm glad to see my character bringing humor to the plots just as he did in the show. I'm touched, really I am! Still mad I never got that section eight though! Maybe that's a story idea for you, if you haven't written one already. But really, you do a fine job! Please keep it up fans, you keep MASH alive! Jamie Farr Corporal Maxwell Klinger  
  
To MASH Fans and authors:  
I am amazed at your loyalty. Thank you for keeping my character true to the writers. I had the best time of my life doing this show, and to read some of these stories, it really takes me back. Please continue this great work! You authors really have talent. I'm privileged to be able to write this to you, I know you make a lot of people laught and cry with these works. Something to be proud of!  
-Wayne Rogers "Trapper" John Macintyre  
  
To MASH Fan Fiction authors:  
Gee! You fans never cease to amaze. A decade and more after the show aired, it continues to touch people. Thank you for writing such great stories. I really enjoyed reading them. Though I haven't finished yet, I really look forward to it. You guys really have talent; I wouldn't hesitate to tell you to send these in for some TV movies or something of that nature. They are really well done! Thanks for these again and please continue to write! I know it makes a lot of fans out here happy!  
-Gary Burghoff AKA Walter "Radar" O'Reilly  
  
THE END.  
  
AN: Still got one more in store folks...that is if you want one. PLEASE ANSWER HARRYS QUESTION in your review if you'd like. Best CO??  
  
Please review, it helps me help you – TLH ‡ 


	4. McLean

"Now these are just silly." The man chuckled flipping a page. "Gee, I really like this one... I live in this one...even if Frank does try all he can to get rid of me...what a fink his character was."  
  
"Excuse me sir, no calling people Finks in heaven" A voice came out of nowhere.  
  
"He was just fictional; I loved Larry in real life." He said into thin air.  
  
"Well in that care." The voice came again.  
  
"Bet those guys at the 4077th, really did miss me, like they say in these stories. They really do have my character down...I sure do miss those guys." He thought solemnly of his friends, still left back in the world. And was elated that his fans, still remember his character after all these years.  
  
"I love this writer, Trivette Lover Heather; she writes so much about me...aww she even says I'm her favorite character, what a sweetheart."  
  
"Yes she is." Came the voice again.  
  
He smiled. "She even has Radar...well Gary, write this book after MASH dedicated to me, the last chapter is tear jerker, let me tell ya....gee these authors think of it all...and the story Haze will break your heart...I still can't believe they killed me off, I didn't even see it coming...I mean why couldn't they make me get home safe...I would have liked that."  
  
He grabbed another stack of papers and continued. "Hey will you say thank you to whomever it was who made these stories appear...I really am enjoying them."  
  
No reply came.  
  
"Ah the angels, so humble." He said to himself.  
  
"Wish I could tell these authors, how much them keeping my character alive means to me."  
  
"What would you say if you could?" The voice replied.  
  
"I'd tell them, that I miss performing for them. That I missed making them smile and laugh. I enjoyed playing Henrys character so much, leaving may have been a hasty decision, but it was meant to be that way. Thank you for continuing the legacy of Blake through some of the stories, it truly is remarkable how you do it. I only wish I could perform for you once more, as the ever loveable Henry Blake..."  
  
With a slight sniffle he continued on his reading, living through the authors pages, one by one. He pulled up a more comfortable cloud and retired for a light nap. Only to be awaken, looking forward to reading more and more...in some way, allowing him to continue to perform for us...till this day...  
  
Rest in Peace McLean.  
  
The End!  
  
AN: I know this was a bit of a stretch, as Larry has also left us. The self promotion is sappy I know, just thought it would get a smile. This is the end of the real life...perhaps a twist on this may come later...  
  
Take care and Please review...it helps me...help you – TLH ‡ 


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